Prayer for Healing: Why Doesn't God Always Say Yes?

Kim Hardy
13 minutes ago
7 min read

My Journey Toward Healing Through Faith

Sitting alone on a Friday night at the kitchen table, kids were sound asleep, the inspiration to write my story hit me. The words seemed to flow like a rushing river from my mind to the paper. I wasn’t writing for perfection. I wrote until my mind was empty. It was a release of pent-up trauma. This was my first step, though I didn't know it yet, toward healing through faith.

I have experienced a lot more life since then. I’ve had people hurt me and I have hurt people. I have learned many lessons the hard way.

I am a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist. This is not a good combination.

I would withdraw from others for fear of what they would think of me if I let them in. I told myself I liked being alone. I kept feeding myself lies and the devil had a field day.

Those nights I was alone, waiting for my husband to come home from a football game, would often lead me to despair. I kept the lights and TV on to drown out the negative thoughts. At this time in my life, I did not realize the importance of reading God’s word during these moments of darkness.

What I wrote that night sitting all alone hasn’t been published, and it has been shared with very few people. That was the beginning of my healing. What I did not understand yet was where real healing would come from.

Looking for Healing in All the Wrong Places

As early as third grade I can remember loving to write. I wrote a story about my aunt and uncle’s wedding and drew pictures to replace the words. In fourth grade I wrote a Christmas play that the class performed, but sadly I was sick and didn’t get to participate.

It wasn’t until my 12^th birthday when my aunt gifted me with two Lisa Frank journals to write in that I started expressing my thoughts and feelings about my life. I wrote letters to my dad in one of them and the other was my diary. They both came with a lock and key, which is exactly how I outwardly expressed myself as a teenager. I learned quickly it wasn’t safe to express how I felt, so I stopped. I learned to suck it up and keep living life. Besides other people had it worse than me.

By the time I graduated high school all I wanted to do was escape from the toxic environment I lived in. I moved in with my sister and brother-in-law for the summer then headed off to Stephen F. Austin State University in August.

It was there I met my husband and my life has never been the same. We rushed into marriage, because getting married fixes everything. A year later we discovered I was pregnant, and we were blessed with our first bundle of joy before I graduated college. Babies fix everything too, right?

As you can tell I searched in all the wrong places for happiness. I did not realize it at the time, but I was searching for healing through faith — I needed a savior.

Everyone needs healing, because everyone is born into sin. In addition, in this fallen world people face hurts, pain, sickness, difficulties, and traumas. People are broken by the sins of others, as well as by their own. Sin tears apart the fabric of relationships and mars the wholeness of intimacy. When broken, people are alienated from themselves, others, and God. Evil infiltrates, dividing the parts and scattering them to increase the sense of alienation through felt distance and misunderstanding. (Dan Allender, The Care and Counsel Bible, p. 1652)

Another Life Story, More Healing

I wish I could say I recognized the need for a relationship with Jesus, but I can’t. At the age of 17, I accepted Jesus as my Savior and was baptized by my grandpa in a pond that he named after my grandma. Here is the deal, I believed in God and Jesus, but I did not know God. There is a difference between believing in God and knowing God. Even the demons believe in God. (James 2:19, ESV)

Another night, sitting alone, I was inspired to start writing. This time the darkness wasn’t closing in. I wasn’t trying to escape or release my thoughts. I was writing so I could share the hope of Jesus. I was writing to let other women know they were not alone in their struggles.

I wrote an outline and began putting my thoughts into chapters, then asked a childhood family friend to edit the book for me. She did a wonderful job. I self-published it on Amazon and told family and friends about it. Some people bought it, but other than one appearance on a local radio station, I did not promote my book.

Self-publishing that book wasn’t the moment God finished His work in me. It was the moment He started teaching me what it meant to know Him. I just did not know it yet.

Fast forward to the summer of 2023 when I finally said yes to God and attended the Christian Communicators Conference (CCC) in Richardson, Texas. This is where I met my people. This is where I experienced what it felt like being in a room full of women who supported and cheered for each other.

While I was at this conference God kept putting my book on my heart. I prayed about talking to the publishing company that was there, and I asked one of my mentors if I should go with this company. She encouraged me to talk to them. I set up a time and met with one of the representatives. I was nervous but she urged me to email her my manuscript, and they would see if I was a good fit.

Once I came home and came down from the spiritual high, I gathered up my courage and submitted my manuscript. It wasn’t long before they accepted it. My dream of becoming a published author came true, and Fighting My Battles with God on My Side was no longer an abandoned act of obedience.

Little did I know what doors God would open from that one act of obedience. The healing started with writing the book, then attending CCC, then following God’s lead and submitting it to Redemption Press. The truth is, while the writing started the healing, God was still working on me at the conference.

I came home eager and on fire to fulfill my purpose, to walk by faith and allow God to work in me.

The Hard Work of Healing

While God was working in me it became clear that it was time to start doing my part and work on myself. Anyone who tells you counseling is for the weak is wrong. There are so many stigmas that come with counseling, but I can say this: counseling is not for the faint of heart.

If you allow yourself to really dig deep and uproot the weeds that have been planted, it is hard work. It makes you uncomfortable to be vulnerable. The most difficult part for me was going back home and processing the information I learned about myself.

Trauma is no joke. Personally, I was dealing with childhood trauma: The loss of my father, and my grandfather within months of each other, along with adjusting to living with family and eventually moving in with my stepfather and his boys.

As I started working on myself and realizing why I react the way I do, it became easier to communicate with my husband and my children. Letting go of my past was not easy at first, but I knew it was the only way to continue moving forward.

I am no longer a victim of what happened to me. I now walk victoriously in life because I have been set free from my past. Many times, we hold ourselves back because we won’t let go of the hurts from our past.

What are you holding on to from your past?

Will God Answer My Prayer to Heal Me?

During Jesus’s ministry on earth, He healed countless people. He healed the blind, the deaf, and the woman who suffered from bleeding for twelve years. He even raised Lazarus from the dead.

But what about those He didn’t heal?

Healing doesn’t always look like we think it should. Sometimes God answers our prayers for healing, even the ones we don't realize we're making.

When we pray, we tend to expect God to answer us immediately. When we pray for healing, we are typically praying for healing here on earth, but that is not always the case.

We don’t want to lose a loved one, so without meaning to, we pray selfishly. Thankfully, God knows what is best, and we can trust Him to bring healing in the manner that will glorify His name.

In the book of James, we are encouraged to count trials as joy because the trial tests our faith which produces endurance. When we look for joy in our trials, we are showing God we trust Him with our lives.

God delights in us when we praise Him for the little things, like getting in to see the doctor sooner than expected, or having a friend take the time to call and check on us.

The only way we can praise God through the trials of life is to remain focused on Him, whether studying our Bibles or praying. We need to connect with Him daily to maintain a spirit of gratitude. An attitude of gratitude changes our perspective, makes our light shine brighter, and sets us up to point others to Jesus.

He is answering my prayers for healing, although not always the way I want or as quickly as I want. It's proof that real healing through faith doesn't happen all at once, but through steady, daily surrender.

Nonetheless, I find myself thanking Him for the healing He has done and for the healing He is doing. The more He cleans me up, the lighter I feel.

I am by no means perfect at this, but I am doing my best to focus on the process and not the end results. I know with God all things are possible, and it is ultimately His decision as to when He calls me home.

Until then, I will follow Him and glorify His name.

Final Encouragement

Your marriage may be a mess, you may be facing financial struggles or praying for healing. Remember you may feel like you are all alone and the darkness is closing in, but Jesus is with you and willing to lend a hand if you will let Him.