What God Is Teaching Me About Obeying: How Partial Obedience Kept Me From Truly Trusting God
“Walk by faith and not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV) is a phrase that, while given with the best intentions, can sometimes be hurtful. I have been guilty of saying it to others who are going through a difficult time.
After the year we had in 2025, I will no longer just throw this verse out there as comfort for someone experiencing something difficult in their lives. Before 2025 I would have told you I walked by faith every day. Ha. That Kim had no idea what walking by faith really looked like.
I walked the walk and talked the talk. I stepped out in faith and did what God asked me to do, most of the time. I had my checklist of all the Christian things I was supposed to do. I prayed frequently. I read my Bible daily. Sure, I missed a few days, but who doesn’t? I attended church regularly and I went to Bible studies.
I led Bible studies. I was a women’s ministry leader. I knew my Bible, and I did my best to present myself as the Christian who has it together but still messed up. Then life knocked me to my knees.
My life turned upside down with one phone call. My future was no longer certain. My plans were no longer valid. My faith and trust in God were about to be tested.
God was about to teach me several lessons. The first lesson was I am prideful. The second was I did not truly trust God. The third was I was not walking by faith at all. The fourth was that partial obedience had become my normal.
Partial Obedience Is Still Disobedience
Before God could teach me what faith actually required, He had to show me how little of my faith and obedience had been real.
We’ve all done it. We do part of what was asked of us, thinking something is better than nothing. How many times as a child when asked to clean up your room did you throw everything in your closet, make the bed, and straighten up the dresser?
I can’t tell you how many times I did that, even when I knew my mom would make me keep cleaning until my room was spick- and-span. She had a Spidey sense about it. She would look around my room with a grin on her face and walk straight to my closet.
My heart raced like a cheetah, then sank into my stomach. I knew what was about to happen. “Kimberlea Sue, clean this mess up now. You will not be able to play or watch TV until I approve.”
Shoulders slumped, I mumbled, “Yes ma’am”. I waited for her to leave before I trudged to the closet to begin the daunting task of putting everything where it belonged.
I knew better than to throw everything on my floor into my closet. I knew my mom would make me clean it up, and I did it anyway.
I kind of obeyed her when she told me to clean my room, but honestly, I did not really obey her. Partial obedience is still disobedience. Knowing I upset her bothered me more than finishing cleaning my room.
God views our disobedience in the same light. We can do part of what He asks, and feel like we are truly obeying Him, and be wrong about that.
When He commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and we love our friends, and maybe the neighbors on either side of us but show no kindness to a stranger, we are only partially obeying. (Matthew 22:39 ESV)
This is normal human behavior. We are comfortable with the people we know and can love them as we love ourselves. It is harder to love a stranger, or someone who acts, looks, and talks differently than we do.
That does not make it okay to disobey God. It is simply the way we justify our disobedience.
Justifying Our Partial Disobedience
There have been many times that God has put something on my heart to do, and I partially do it. My partial obedience usually shows up when I feel prompted to talk to a stranger.
I am not the best at initiating conversations, because I don’t do small talk very well. I am a dive-deep person. To help myself overcome this, I started talking to cashiers.
I call them by name and ask how their day is going. The more I did this, the better I became at small talk. Now I can hold a decent conversation with a cashier.
My confidence in initiating conversations has improved, but my heart still races when I feel prompted to walk up to a total stranger and start a conversation, or walk up to someone and ask, “Can I pray for you?”
I would love to tell you I don't struggle with partial obedience, but that would be a lie. There are times I just don’t feel like it, so I don’t. This does not make it right.
Let me give you an example. Just before Christmas a couple of years ago, God decided to test me. My husband, daughter and I were in North Carolina for a cross-country meet. We arrived a couple of days early to give her time to walk the course, acclimate to the weather, and rest.
After she walked the course, we found a restaurant close to our hotel. As we finished our meal, I felt prompted to leave my book, Fighting My Battles with God on My Side, and pray for our waitress. I was comfortable leaving the book. I was not comfortable with praying for her.
On the way out the door, I told my husband about giving her the book, but I did not tell him about praying for her. There was a tug-of- war in my mind: Do I give her the book and pray for her, or give her the book?
I did neither. We got in the truck. I sat there arguing with myself and finally decided to sign the book and let my husband give it to her. After all, she was a stranger. How could I possibly know how to pray for this lady?
He frowned at me but did what I asked of him. It did not take him long to deliver the book. He smiled as he jumped in the truck and said, “She told me to tell you thank you”.
I smiled, but deep down I was sad. I knew I hadn’t done what God asked me to do. I knew I had disappointed Him.
Final Encouragement
When I disappoint God, I feel the same way I did when I disappointed my mom. I know He wants me to do better. Just like my mom, God gives me a second chance to make things right.
How awesome is that? We serve a God who gives us second chances, and third, and fourth, and I think you get the picture.
Thankfully, God does not give up on us when we mess up. He will continue to use us if we ask Him to forgive us.
Partial obedience was only the beginning of what God was about to teach me. In the next post, I'll share what happened when my husband lost his job, and what it taught me about really trusting God.
Check Our Hearts: Questions for Reflection
1) What decisions are you making without consulting God?
2) What lessons have you learned from a trial you were in?
3) Are you willing to trust God with a blind faith?
Comments