Wanting to experience God on a new level I attempted, to create a comfy space in the cleaning closet under my staircase and quickly realized that God wasn't after my comfort, He was after my heart. Through training at Mercy Ships, a season of loss, and my word for the year, abide, I began to trust God with my concerns, doubts, fears and struggles instead of striving to figure it all out on my own.

For years, I searched for wholeness in all the wrong places — in relationships, in marriage, in motherhood, in being the person everyone needed me to be. I was a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist, hiding behind locked journals and a smile that masked real despair. This post traces that journey: from a grieving little girl who lost her father and grandfather within months of each other, to a woman set free from the weight of her past.

After Jesus rose from the grave, everything changed. The disciples had no idea what the next chapter would look like. Jesus told them to wait in Jerusalem until they received the promise of the Holy Spirit. The disciples gathered in the upper room. They did not know when the Holy Spirit would come. On the day of Pentecost everything shifted. The church was born that day. The power of the Holy Spirit equipped them to fulfill their purpose of spreading the Gospel.